I believe we were given this life to create, experience, gain fulfillment, contribute and grow. There are survival things we need to do such as eat, drink and have a roof over our heads. There are also activities and experiences we like to do to feel happy and fulfilled such as growing our careers, building a family, being fit, and social activities.
Doing any one activity in excess however can lead to exhaustion, illness, and imbalance. Imagine if you spent 80% of your waking time eating, you would become ill. If you exercised most of the time your body would become tired and need rest. If you were social all the time you would be spending money instead of making money.
When we spend too much time focused in only one or two areas of our lives the other areas of our lives become out of balance and our happiness decreases. The mindset of “I can’t have it all, I need to stay focused on only a few things” develops. So we stay stuck spending most of our waking time working so we can buy more possessions. In the meantime our health is decreasing, relationships are struggling, and we are too tied down to do things we love like travel. Our happiness decreases, we have a deep sense of being unfulfilled and knowing that we are not sharing all our gifts with the world.
When I was 17 a mentor gave me the book First things first by Stephen Covey, which focuses on how to manage your time and activities in order to live your life purpose. He introduced a theory where if your Physical, Social, Mental, and Spiritual needs are not in balance at all times, your life will be out of harmony and you won’t be happy.
After observing the people around me that were successful in only one or two of these four areas, I noticed they were not happy or fulfilled. They were in fact struggling, even the people that society classes as being successful. I noticed the people that worked hard and had money were not happy as they no time to build their relationships, health and spiritual needs. Those focused solely on their spiritual needs also were not happy, as they didn’t have enough money to look after their physical needs. After presenting the theory to the few people I did meet that seemed happy and fulfilled, they all agreed that a happy life is a about constant balance.
From that day forward I vowed to live with the mindset “I can have it all, I’ll focus on many things that are important to me at the same time”. I spent my 20s setting guidelines for myself such as not working more than 40 hours a week, exercising at least once a day, dedicating weeknights to personal and spiritual growth, social time on weekends only, and travel being a priority. In my early 30s, I then added on to that a daily meditation practice and no time wasting and negative activities such watching TV or the news, or complaining.
This resulted in me being able to travel to over 42 countries, live in 5, build up a professional marketing career, compete as a triathlete on an international stage, live in ashrams in India, meditate in Buddhist monasteries in Nepal, and become a qualified personal trainer and hatha yoga teacher.
It also resulted in me being fulfilled and happy knowing I was following my passions and purpose in life.
Exercises:
What areas of your life do you feel you can create more balance?
What activities and causes are you passionate about that you can focus more of your time on?
What time wasting activities can you remove from your life?
